How To Be Naturally Attractive [and Stop Turning Other People Off!]

 Why didn’t they call me? Why don’t they want to meet up?

You just can’t seem to meet a guy or if you do nothing gets past the first or second date. It feels so confusing and you’re slightly concerned there is something wrong with you!

In truth, there might be! ( Only kidding!)

They’re not being mean intentionally ~ well most men, they probably don’t know why or don’t know how to say it, but they just don’t want to be around you…

You’ve turned them off!

Being turned on and attracted to someone isn’t about sex and the way they look; it’s about how you feel being with them!

The Top 3 Turn Ons!

#1 ~ Feeling Accepted

#2 ~ Feeling like someone is interested in you

#3 ~ Feeling relaxed, excited and good in someone’s company

You could meet a guy and they could be as physically beautiful to you as your ideal fantasy HUNK, but if they start opening their mouth and it’s all let’s talk about ME! ME! ME! Then they might as well be as ugly as Shrek because very soon you’ll be bored, bored, bored and turned off!

NOBODY wants to feel like they don’t exist in a relationship because it’s all about the other person and they don’t feel good to be with. The vibe is wrong and the relationship is out of balance.

Looking pleasing to the eye can only take you so far in attraction, but when it comes to creating relationships we all need more.

We need to FEEL good around someone and that feeling comes from being noticed, accepted and being able to relax and simply be YOU.

Me! Me! Me!

The irony is healthy relationships are actually based on ME! ME! ME!

‘Not Look At Me’ ~ give me all the attention as our Hunk was suggesting, but actually “do I like the way I feel around you?

If I feel accepted, relaxed and happy in your company, then I will want to share myself and all my little goodies with you.

If I feel uncomfortable and on edge ~ then I’m going to want to stay away from you!

Now we can’t change other people…

We can, however, assess and change what we put out to other people and attract back because that is all about us!

*Are you critical of yourself — your face, body, hair, voice, manner or behaviour?

*Do you judge yourself against other people and what they look like, act like, achieve, who they are, what they’ve got?

If you answered yes then I guarantee that you will be turning men off you!

The Top 3 Turn Offs!

#1 ~ Being criticised/judged

#2 ~ Feeling ignored

#3 ~ Feeling uncomfortable

If that’s how you feel about being you, then why would anyone else feel comfortable around you?

Don’t worry there are things that you can do to improve the image you have of yourself which will help in getting easy attention and attracting men ( and women).

Advertising Our Self Worth

We advertise our self-worth in our physical form – health, fitness, demeanour, behaviour and the way we dress. What message are you putting out? 

If we look worn out, hunched, weighed down, unhealthy, pallid skin, dull hair, over our natural weight or under our natural weight, lose muscles then simply we don’t look in good condition and lack vitality!

We are advertising to other people ‘I don’t really care about my wellbeing’. We look not only unappealing but unloved!

Loving Our Wellbeing!

It’s not about working hard, but show your body some love…

  1. First take good basic self-care of your diet ( eat your greens, drink plenty of water and less coffee, alcohol and sugar) Put garbage in you’ll get toxins out!
  2. Get outside, fresh air and sunlight – these vitamins matter! 
  3. Do some exercise – whatever you enjoy but move your muscles daily. 
  4. Take care of your hair and nails because these visibly show your vitality/diet etc. 
  5. Sleep and take rest time – meditate and chill out! Your body needs plenty of time to recoup and build resources! Sleep, meditating and chill out time are all essential for natural vitality, being radiant and attractive. 

When we care little about our wellbeing, we also care little about how we dress and choose dark colours, unflattering designs and worn out fibres.

So, of course, the opposite is true. The more we care about our wellbeing the more we are attracted to wearing colours, clothes that flatter and well cared for fibres. 

We naturally want to look good because we feel good in our health and energy and we want to show it off! [ That’s nature for you!]

Being Your Own Mental Punch-bag

We also market our self-worth and character in the way we speak and tones that we use about ourselves and other people.

If we spend a lot of time with negative backchat in our head and self-criticism in our language we are treating ourselves like rubbish. 

This mental treatment makes us emotional punch-bag waiting for the next punch! Causing us to physically shrink in our demeanour and presence.

The brain becomes rewired to accept disease, dislike and hatred as acceptable normality, which destroys trust, confidence and all radiance!

Our brain thinks it’s OK to judge ourselves, so it’s OK to judge other people. If we are unforgiving and critical to ourselves so we unconsciously criticise or nag other people.

This self mental abuse quickly makes us defensive, uptight, anxious and our presence prickly around other people. Which is not only highly unattractive but feels really uncomfortable for other people to be in contact with even if they can’t explain why!

If you’re turned off by you, then other people will be too!

Thankfully the opposite is also true ….

Turn On Your Mental LOVE

If we begin to treat ourselves like our best friend, we stop feeling afraid of our own company!

We gradually begin to unwind from being coiled up like a spring! Let go, relax and feel good about what we have to offer to ourself and the world and the people in it.

  1. Choose kindness instead of cruelty to yourself.
  2. Choose to focus on pleasant thoughts that feel OK, easy, good, and fun!
  3. Throw away perfection expectations to judge yourself by. Accepting little by little who you are as a totally unique individual, in your body, your thoughts, your life experiences. What makes you, you!
  4. Show as much genuine interest in your own life, what lights your fire, flips your switch, feels peaceful and gives you joy!

When we relax into our own skin we become soft, inviting and feel so much better to be around ~ our presence will feel to others like falling into a really large squishy sofa.

Get Turned On By YOU!

This is natural easy confidence and everyone is attracted and turned on by that vibe! 

Like when we grab a coffee and having a good natter with an intimate friend, we can start showing some real genuine interest in what other people are about instead of wasting so much time worrying if they think we are good enough, knowing just being ourselves is enough!

We are all attracted to feeling good. Feel good about you and you will start attracting men who are turned on by your confident, light, easy-going presence.

Much Love

Jo xx



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